So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
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