the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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