brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
