there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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