pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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