If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize