the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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