I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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