I'm jealous of your bromance
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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