Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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