I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
