Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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