Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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