Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's always time for handjobs
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
