I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
