youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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