So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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