I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
