is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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