you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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