Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
