$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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