i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize