So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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