I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
