you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
All I want is dick and wine.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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