I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
