if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
