I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
