I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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