I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
