dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
