i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
