eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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