We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
