If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
