one might say we're banned from that church
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
