so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
