in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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