I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
so much tequila, so little girl.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
