I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
