I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
