Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this will be a night to untag.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
