so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
