so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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