Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
