Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
