I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im holly from the hills drunk
organizing the empties. That sober.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
