In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
