remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
