can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
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