Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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