Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
