I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
North Korea, Best Korea!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
