she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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