so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
