Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize