It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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