shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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