My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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