I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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