She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
