I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
