I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
