i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why do cheetos always look like penises
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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