Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
