She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
two words...techno handjob
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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